KARYN PARSONS:IT’S HARD BEING BIRACIAL IN AMERICA/RAISING BIRACIAL KIDS

Karyn Parsons,who played Hillary Banks on syndicated television show the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, says that it is hard being biracial in America. In addition,the actress turned producer/writer says that it is harder raising bi-racial kids.Karyn says that her daughter Lana,4, came out looking like  the “whitest white child with blonde hair and blue eyes” and her son Nico,11 months, came out looking “browner than [she is]”. Read Karyn’s interview with Essence.com below:

Essence.com: Your mother is Black and your father White. What’s been your biggest challenge being biracial in America?

K.P.: Well, it’s hard. When I saw Barack’s speech on race, I cried and I felt like, there’s the speech I’ve been wanting to write. I’ve been thinking about writing about race for a long time. It’s very interesting how we feel about each other in terms of race. When I’m around Black or White people, I’m always in the middle. Especially when I am around Black people; they will really tell how they feel about White people regardless of the fact that I’m also White and have White relatives. It’s very interesting and can be really hard.

Essence.com: It’s definitely an issue our society still faces.

K.P.: Exactly. And I’m married to a White man, and then my daughter came out looking like the whitest White child with blonde hair and blue eyes. And I’m like, Omigosh, now what am I going to do? She has my mom’s features and is lighter than my husband. And my boy is browner than I am. Brown eyes and really tan. The race thing is something we continue to deal with and just have to learn to love ourselves and others.

In 2005,Karyn and her husband wanted to “instill a sense of culture and heritage to their daughter” and so they started an award-winning collection of African-American children’s DVD’s.

Essence.com: Congrats to you on the success of your award-winning collection of African-American children’s DVDs, which aired on HBO. How did you get into writing for children?

Karyn Parsons: While I was on Fresh Prince, my mother, who was head of book resources at a college library, told me the incredible story of Henry ‘Box’ Brown, a slave who mailed himself in a small box from Virginia to Pennsylvania to find freedom. Talk about determination! That was such an obvious story to tell kids and it stayed with me. A few years later, I talked to my husband about it. He was really fascinated with it as well and pushed me to just do it, and bring the story to life.

Essence.com: Well, we are glad you did. That is an eye-opening story that people need to know.

K.P.: And they really have been receptive. I started my company Sweet Blackberry in 2004 and The Journey of Henry ‘Box’ Brown was our first DVD. It was an easy way to introduce slavery to young kids. It can be difficult for parents and teachers to explain that part of our history. It was an interesting experience and kept me thinking, Is that too much? Does the whip crack in this scene? We all love to hear a good story, and Alfre Woodard was amazing as the narrator. It aired on HBO in February for Black History Month. Our second story was Garret’s Gift, about a teenage Garret A. Morgan, who invented the traffic light, and Queen Latifah narrated for us, which was great.

 

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~ by blackcelebritykids on July 1, 2008.

109 Responses to “KARYN PARSONS:IT’S HARD BEING BIRACIAL IN AMERICA/RAISING BIRACIAL KIDS”

  1. Ummm… It’s hard because you make it hard.

    Whether it is race or culture, one has to surpass the other. There is no place for both. When you or your kids walk in the street, they are identified as black.

    You are black whether you have a white mother or father.

    I don’t see any problems there. Once you accept your blackness, there is no problem. To me only when people have a problem saying “I am black”, that is when things go wrong..

  2. Cranberry, clearly you are not mixed. One can’t understand what it’s like to be biracial in America unless one is actually biracial… in America. Unfortunatly it’s not as easy as the “one drop of black blood (makes one black)” rule would imply. That concept was a way to discourage whites from having sexual relationships with blacks, as many Caucasions (1) feared that race mixing would render the white race instinct and (2) thought that blacks were so inferior that they were unfit as mates to whites. By implementing the one drop rule, whites who chose to cross the color lines romantically had to deal with the fact that their children would not be accepted in white socity nor be afforded all the benefits it had to offer. So, this in addition to all the other ways in which blacks were treated and generally regarded as inferior in America, kept blacks “in their place” and whites with whites.

    Simply put, the one drop rule is a social construct, originating from slavery, that does not reflect reality. Actually, if you are born from one black parent and one white parent, you are of both races, to the exclusion of neither (for example, Cameren Diez refers to herself as mixed and is accepted as a Caucasion even though she is of Cuban and Caucasian descent; why should it be any differerently when one is of part African American descent?). Actually, if you come from a white mother and were raised by her and her white family in a white neighborhood, you probably identify with the white race more than the black, even though you might be darker than your close kin. Yet, because of people like you Cranberry, that person would be told to “accept his/her blackness” by some, not regarded as black by others, and veiwed as “just another white person” by still others. This makes for a very confusing situation, especially for young children.

    So Cranberry, you should really read up on your history and have a heart-to-heart with some mixed folks before you make such insensitive remarks.

  3. well said!!

  4. Well I happen to be “biracial” although I believe there is only one race–the human race. I identify as African-American because I was raised by my African-American mother. My father is Hispanic. Though at first glance people mistake me for Hispanic, even other Hispanics, when I inform them of my entire background they automatically then refer to me as black. I really don’t care because I don’t have a problem with being black or labeled as such. Just like I don’t mind when people mistake me for Hispanic. Race is a social concept with no truth in genetics. I do however clarify to people that because I was raised by my mother, culturally I am black. I don’t speak Spanish and I don’t know how to make Puerto Rican food. Blame my father.

    I have no problem with what Karen Parsons said in the above interview, although just because she is biracial does not mean that African-Americans don’t have legitimate grievances against their white counterparts. Half of her family is white. That’s great. They may be the nicest, most race neutral people in the world, but she shouldn’t get upset if African-Americans express their legitimate grievances against those persons who have caused them harm. No intelligent, fair minded person–black or white–would argue that all “white people” are racists. So for her to get upset because some black people express legitimate grievances is unfair. Just because half of her family is white does not absolve or mitigate the racism African-Americans still experience in this country.

    As for the notion, that biracial kids have it rough in America…I guess it depends on where you are raised and how much emphasis the parents put on race. I grew up in a somewhat diverse, middle-class neighborhood in the mid-west, although there were more blacks than whites. Because African-Amercians are diverse in terms of skin tone and hair texture I never felt like the odd ball in my family or in my community. I have an aunt–my mother’s sister–who has less melanin than I do. She’s downright pale! Because my mother instilled in me at an early age the idea that we are a family first and foremost, I never had any identity problems. I never felt confused or like I didn’t belong. Some girls at school were nasty to me because of my hair, but other African-American girls with long hair got teased so I never took the insults too seriously. This is not to say that other biracial kids don’t have it rough. I’m sure some do. But I think it depends a lot on where you are raised, the racial make-up of the community you live in, and the emphasis your parents put on race. My mother was not naieve to race, but she didn’t allow it to permeate every aspect of our lives. Despite our outward differences, we were and are a family first and formost, dealing with the same life issues as any other family–education, health care, job security etc. Race is just an added layer, but if you don’t obsess about it I think you can avoid some of the identity problems.

    Just my opinion.

  5. Very well said black is black!!!

  6. To black is black…stupid: you clearly are confused, as you contradicted yourself in the first two sentences.

    First sentence: “I believe there is only one race-the human race.”
    Second sentence: “I identify as African American.”

    That perhaps attributed to poor Katrina’s confusion in thinking your point was black is black.

  7. No insightful commentary on biracial children here…I just want to say that her daughter looks straight up albino, not mixed

  8. OH MY GOD IS HER DAUGHTER ALBINO

  9. I think this is an interesting topic. My mom is half African American and half italian American. During her time, she was considered black because she was raised by a black and cherokee grandmother. Her mother abandoned her because she was too dark to ever pass for Italian. This has hurt and haunted her and her biological mother for years. However she considers herself to be biracial but culturally she is African American.

    I think that it can be tough to hear some one talk about white people when you are half white. But I don’t consider myself to be biracial and can not really speak from experience. I do believe as time passes those who were identified solely as black will now be able to be comfortable saying they are biracial. I believe the country is coming to terms and slowly the one drop rule is eroding.

    People are people, thats how I have grown up but then again I didn’t grow up during the 60’s.

  10. Live and let live, and don’t force outdated views on the next generation. Eventually everyone will be various shades of brown anyway.

  11. To clarify my point. It has nothing to do with being biracial. I think the real psychology in this is the color issues and the lack of ease when it comes to accepting blackness in America.

    We are human beings and even if you disagree with Bateson’s theories on acculturation and assimilation, most people are multi-racial or cultural. In terms of identity, the African Diaspora is diverse and accepting because our our social identity is that of struggle and class.

    Understanding the label of black goes beyond the 1 drop rule and the controls of white social order. It is not meant to deny biology, but rather retain the black skin and shatter the white mask.

    I am multiracial and most likely lighter than you, but being black does not eradicate that fact. We can live in a white society as we do and nothing will change our black experiences, no matter what we call ourselves.

  12. To Hmmm…

    No I am not confused. I explicitly stated in my comments above that culturally I am black. I use the terms black and African-American interchangably.

    There is only one race–the human race. However since we live in a society that likes to categorize people along “racial” lines, I always mark off African-American because culturally I am African-American. Had my father had a greater impact in my life and passed down his cultural habits to me then probably I would be like some biracial persons and mark off more than one box. But since I was rasied by my mother and am not obsessed over race I have no problem identifying myself as African-American because culturally I am such even though I might not look like what many perceive as the stereotypical African-American. I have never denied the fact that my father is Hispanic. It would be ridiculous for me to do so considering the way I look. But I am also not going to get bent out of shape if someone tells me “oh you just black girl” after they meet my mother, which is what many people, black and hispanic have done. I really don’t care how others perceive me. I know who I am and am confortable with it. I don’t need the entire world to know and affirm my ancestrial background in order to feel good about myself.

  13. Also, don’t let my signature fool you. I’m not some radical. I created it as a joke. Now breathe everyone!

  14. I just read you comments 20somethingvixen which is why I didn’t respond in my previous posts.

    Yes, I’ve heard of other cases like your mother’s and it’s sad that she had to go through that. I do agree that race relations and people’s discomfort with interacial marriage and the children produced by such unions has changed since the ’60s, although prejudice and intolerance still exist. I just read an article on CNN where a 68 year old Indian-American was given a life sentence for the murder of his African-American daughter-in-law. Apparently he was against his son’s marriage to the 22 year-old woman, and hired a man to kill her, seven months after she gave birth to the couple’s only child, a girl. It took several years before police arrested the 68 year old grandfather. They got a tip from a female relative of the grandfather. She told the police that she had witnessed the crime along with another girl. Surprisingly, after the murder, the victim’s Indian husband gave his infant daughter to his black in-laws and has had no contact with the child since. He subsequently married an Indian woman and has more or less abandoned his daughter who is now 9 years-old. Of course this is an extreme example of racial intolerance and not the norm. But unfortunately hostility towards African-Americans and minorities in general, still exist. To extrapolate from a comment Cranberry made in her second post, no matter how we may “look” or identify ourselves, in a society and world where black people are viewed with hostility, if someone wants to label you black they will. I have no probleme with it. Not because I am anti-multiracial, but because I refuse to give into the notion that there is something wrong with being black. I also don’t have time to argue with ignorant people. If people want to identify themselves as biracial/multiracial then fine (and this is not an attack againt you 20sonmething vixen, or anyone else for that matter.) However I do find it disturbing when I come across people who say they can be white or black whenever they want to be because they have a white parent, and yet they look like Seal’s kids with Heidi Klum or Halle Berry. White people don’t think such things. And when they do, it generally comes off as obnoxious. But I understand that people have different experiences than my own. Until we stop placing value on skin color, we will continue to have these conflicts.

  15. […] KARYN PARSONS:IT’S HARD BEING BIRACIAL IN AMERICA/RAISING BIRACIAL KIDS [image] Karyn Parsons,who played Hillary Banks on syndicated television show the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, says that it […] […]

  16. Cranberry…how are you gonna tell other ppl how they should identify themselves? That’s not your job. Not everyone wants to identify the same way…deal with it.

  17. Black is black…I completely agree that there is nothing wrong with being black. I also don’t believe that you can re-identify yourself going back forth. I believe in embracing what you are and moving on. I was heart broken by the story of the black woman being killed by the Indian family over skin color. It disgusts me that people would go to such lengths. The fact the father wants nothing to do with his child is horrible too. This poor child has been abandoned because of race.

  18. Cranberry feels that way because she’s ignorant. Although she’s argued ONLINE that she’s mixed and lighter than anyone posting..lol… she’s clearly not mixed and hates the fact that mixed people sometimes can have the best of both worlds. She wants them to only claim their blackness like she, who has no choice. Get over it Cranberry. Black is beautiful.

  19. @ Not Buying it,

    I totally understand where Cranberry is coming from. But of course you have to read the response and understand the ideas. He/she deals with race in a more complex manner.
    ANyway, what is mixed??? Most people are mixed. Mixed can be ethnicity, tribes, race, nationality…
    I am multiracial and I call myself black. What’s the big deal? Let’s see, I am from South America, I have Portuguese, Spanish, African, E. Indian and Chinese ancestry. I am light skin black. What am I supposed to be afraid of? I didn’t deny my master’s blood, but I sure am going to respect the freedom fighters.

    The reality is that I can say I am Portuguese and be shunned or Chinese, but if I say I am black, there will always be a place for me somewhere in the shade echelon.

    It’s not that serious. And I think for a woman that played a black woman in a sitcom, to say that it is “hard” to be biracial is kind of silly. Of course it’s hard. This ocuntry was built of the exploitation of one of her racial groups and the other the oppressor. I am sure it is hard for her to watch cops with her white family who may think that all blacks behave like that or a black family member be pissed at white folks everytime they get their ass whooped by the cops of get pulled over.

    That is normal. One day people will get more educated. But if you walk into the room and someone thinks you are black, what is so hard if they call you black as opposed to biracial? And please do not call me gnorant because that is not an intellectual comback.

    Peace..

  20. I was being sarcastic when saying of course it’s hard, yet showing the dichotomy of the stereotypes and hypes.

  21. P.S. Her daughter looks every bit black even with her pale skin. Heck she looks like an albino friend of mine.
    And I have cousins that look exactly like her and her son.

  22. Lets get the history straight. First of all biracial is not new–there have been biracial or “mixed” people in the US since enslaved Africans arrived. The one drop rule was not designed to keep whites from having sexual relations with blacks–far from it. The white man had sexual relations with the black woman repeatedly from slavery and many blacks in the old South states like Va, NC, SC, Ga, LA, etc show that in their light skin, hair texture etc. The one drop rule was designed so that the white man could sell his half black kids during slavery. This was to reverse English common law that said a child’s condition followed his father’s legally. If you had a black mother and a white father, by English common law, you were free so they invented the one drop made you black rule so that mixed race people could be sold like the pure black people! The English did not want a transitional class here unlike the French, who had the creole mixed race people who were freed by their fathers for the most part and formed a seperate clas in La. This was also the case in Haiti but the mulatto class there rose up and killed the whites off so the English here did not want a free class. The one drop rule is therefore unique to America and the black community had a lot of solidarity because everyone of african ancestry was included in the community and that was our strength in the civil rights movement, etc. However, after the civil rights movement,interracial marriage increased and the white mothers of the new biracial children wanted a seperate category so that their children would not be treated the same way as a” regular unmixed black person(when there is really no such thing in the US as white and Indian are also in our gene pool)” as if the white bigot on the street is going to ask a phenotypically black person their pedigree before calling them a N—-r! I think a lot of biracial people put a lot of effort into trying to identify with the side of their identity that does not accept them but whatever floats your boat. I am technically mixed race myself but from pre civil war mixing and so my family is culturally black–and proud of it! Notice how biracial people like Karyn Parsons do not hesitate to take money to portray a black woman on TV but have problems being thought to be black in real life. Please.

  23. The inner turmoil comes mostly when bi/multi-racials attempt to run away from their blackness with the excuse that they cannot claim blackness because it would be rejecting their white parent. There are several people who can identify as black and still can both claim and love their white relatives and appreciate their european ethnicity. Barack Obama and Halle Berry alike can accept or come to terms with their blackness, but still pay homage to the white mothers who help shaped their being. Upon experiencing rejection from the white world and family, sometimes the mixed race individual will become bitter and blame blacks for their inability to assimilate into white society and often attempt to seek a new label other then black to distance themselves from 50% of their African genes or less of their African genes. Biracial in America hard? How about acknowledging the fact that being black in America has never been easy, and even more so, accepting that regardless of this social construct called race, we are all a part of the human family…

  24. Biracial in America hard? How about acknowledging the fact that being black in America has never been easy, and even more so, accepting that regardless of this social construct called race, we are all a part of the human family

    Then and only then will things start to get easy…

  25. Mary D – I take my hat off to you.

    It is nice to see someone that knows history.

    I remembered when Thandie Newton used to say she was mixed.
    She got along for a while.. Then she had kids – in an interview, she said after she had her children, she understood what it was to be black.
    She said that her brother asked her where did the problack sentiment came from… LOL

    I think Thandie understood that she could fit in and never have to justify herself. Her father is still white, bust she understood that she wasn’t and that is ok..

  26. Thanks– A lot of people are misinformed about our history and that of the white man’s behavior in slavery and about the history of racially mixed people in the US and try to rationalize the unfair and racist reasons things are the way they are here in the US. To fully discuss the hypocrisy about slavery, mixed race people, slave codes and black codes and the new biracial movement would take a book, not a blog entry. I do believe that people have the right to decide who they want to identify with, etc but lets be real. A lot of this biracial “turmoil” is because the biracial people have a problem being identified with blackness in any way and want to really identify with their white or asian heritage. Many of them go through a lot of changes trying to identify with the part of their identity that may or may not accept them(ie, the white or asian part) instead of trying to understand the part of their heritage that has accepted everyone regardless of racial admixture(some of our greatest leaders in the past like WEB Dubois or Walter White or Adam Clayton Powell were mixed race/mostly white genetically)because the black community always had a forced solidarity because of the one drop rule.

    Often, light skinned/mixed race people were promoted over darker people in many jobs historically by whites and this is still going on in entertaiment so these people benefit from being racially mixed. A whiter beauty standard is what whites promoted as they feel more comfortable with this to a certain degree. Check out the women like Karyn Parsons and Halle Berry, Lisa Bonet and that white looking chick on the Cosby Show–they all have had roles playing black women not identified as biracial but having 2 black parents in the shows or films they appeared in yet I have read articles in which they all talk about how they should not be mistaken for a black person( except Halle, who seemed to be ok aknowledging some black heredity and said so in her Oscar speech),how hard their lives are, etc. Yeah, right, tell that to sisters who wanted the part but were skipped over because they were considered too dark(even though on the Cosby show, dark skinned Bill Cosby and brown skinned Phyllica Rashad were the parents!) I am glad Thandie Newton is more ok with being thought of as partially black now–she made a career on playing light skinned black women getting busy with Ol master in Jefferson in Paris, Interview with the Vampire, etc and also made some of those quotes about “biracial turmoil”, etc. Maybe being in Crash(an excellent movie about how even money does not protect you from racism) or even Norbit( which was trash but was a virtually all black production) got her to re-consider. Or maybe the fact that she was getting scripts like Norbit when the white chicks weren’t got her to see anti-black racism in a different light as she was the one suffering from it for a change.

  27. It’s funny to hear black and solidarity in the same sentence. That’s all I’ll say on that point.

    There is a mixed race, and people who’s grandma’s grandma who was half white/N.A./you pick the race, are not included.

    If your parents are from two different races, you are mixed. Point blank. Those who fall in that category are free to choose as they see fit in terms of who they want to identify as especially if they are fare skinned with curly/wavy/straight hair and more European features. For the others, don’t be so bitter that you were not born with that choice. After all, with that luxury comes a price, as Parsons points out.

  28. my mother is a black woman born in France
    her father is a black man born in the Phillipines
    my father is a black man born in Italy.

    I am a black woman.

    I suppose that means I’m mixed too, but I don’t concern myself with that label because in my opinion, the label is pointless. Just live and appreciate all of the cultures you are exposed to.

  29. Calico, I need you to look up in the dictionary these two words: nationality and race. There is a difference sweatheart.

  30. Not Buying it,

    YOU SEEM VERY CONFUSED.

    No one is telling people born of two races they can’t call themselves biracial.

    I will speak for myself now.. Karyn Parsons looks like a black woman. She will always be seen as such. Apparently she wants to be a part of her white ancestry. Good for her, but please stop blaming the term “you are black” for this inability to assimilate into white society.

    Calling one’s self bi-racial, or multi-racial doesn’t give you a better chance of being more white, or fitting in. In the end it will still be black.

    Perhaps the anger should be geared towards the whites that will never accept them.

  31. “Those who fall in that category are free to choose as they see fit in terms of who they want to identify as especially if they are fare skinned with curly/wavy/straight hair and more European features.”

    _______

    The above has to be the most ignorant statement ever.

    #1 – You don’t have to be bi-racial to have “fair skinned with curly/wavy/straight hair and more European features.”

    #2 – You can travel Africa and get black people with those same features, so please stop sounding foolish.

    This is what happens when people don’t know their history.

  32. Cranberry, no one said you had to be biracial to have fair skin and fine hair. But if you want to go there… I’ve never seen a person of African ancestry with those characteristics who was not also of another race. And please don’t count Egyptians without going to your local library. Black Afriacans and some black Americans (like you Cranberry) purport that the fair skinned/straight/wavy haired Egyptians are black; but, Egyptians are of at least partial Arab decent and don’t consider themselves black… even though they are African (I know you won’t get this difference Cranberry, but read it really slow a few times and perhaps you might). Quite frankly, I’ve never heard of or seen any fair skinned AND fine haired black who was not mixed (relaxers, weaves, and skin bleach don’t count).

    But that’s soooo besides the point. Unfortunately Cranberry, you don’t even sound intelligent enough to fully grasp what’s really at the heart of these issues.

    You’re clearly one of those people who picked on the beautiful mixed girls growing up because they had “long pretty hair,” light skin and all the boys’ attention and you didn’t. I’ve never been one to ignore the perks that come along with being biracial. It’s unfair… but like your mamy should’ve told you: life’s unfair. So get over it.

  33. @ Not Buying It- You seem to have the whole House N**** /slave mentality at hello. Good luck with that and wherever it shall take you in THIS life.

  34. Again, I know a lot of black women hate to admit it; but, a lot are jealous of mixed women…all the way to the Chinese shop to buy hair to mimic what mixed gals can create naturally with a flat iron (and…. no hair grease might I add). Black women spend tens of thousands of dollars over the course of their lives to look closer to mixed and white women. Not to mention the blacks in other countries who’ve practically burned their skin and gave themselves a one way ticket to skin-cancer hell using skin bleaching systems. People on this forum have been discussing the supposed identity crises of the mixed woman and I laugh. Black women are the ones who’ve made the most attempts of any race to look other than what they do naturally. Suggestion: stop buying the $1K + lace fronts, relaxers, and weaves and instead invest in your local libraries and children’s educations. Power to self love not synthetics.

  35. I’m actually surprised that this discussion is still going on, but then race is such an emotional and complex issue.

    I don’t know if I have much to add to the discussion. I think Lynn, Mary D, Shango Baptiste, and Cranberry made some valid points.

    I was a bit turned off by some of the statments Not Buying it made. Especially when he/she stated that there are “perks” to being biracial and that it’s a “luxury” to be mixed. I’ve never believed my diverse background to be a “luxury” or a hinderence for that matter. It is what it is and I am comfortable with it. And the only “perk,” if you will, that I can see in having a diverse background is that you are exposed to different cultures but that’s only if you are raised by both parents. Not all biracial/multiracial persons are raised by both parents, so I’m not understanding this whole “perk” argument. It all sounds pretty obnoxious to me.

  36. @ Not Buying it:

    I doubt you are black because your statements are so off kilter and arrogant.
    You sound like a white angry female or male with mental issues.

    First off, black people don’t wear weaves because we want to look like mixed or white people.
    As for “mixed” people, you have pure black people that have curly hair and light skin. Yes, you moronic clown, you have different skin complexions and hair textures withing the black diaspora, apart from the offspring of the slave trade. It just shows you are ignorant and clueless.

    I am light skin and have curly hair and I wear weave, not because I want to look white but because it is easier to manage and because of the time it takes to groom our hair and the fact that our hair is FLEXIBLE, I wear weaves and sometimes I relax my hair.

    Secondly, White women wear weaves, texturize their hair and let’s not mention tanning. Actually the biggest skin bleachers are in India and that is due to colonization and the evil created by European slavery.

    Honestly I think you are an angry troll with issues. Get a life. You need to meet real black people and get your crazy azz outside..

  37. Yeah right. I’ve heard the whole convenience argument PLENTY of times. Dreadlocks or afros are much more convenient… not to mention cheaper than going to buy high priced synthetic hair. Denial, denial, denial.

    Yes, white women wear weaves; but I have yet to see afros as being the weaves of choice for them or blacks for that matter. White women, like black women do it for beauty (or what they perceive as beautiful).

    As for the qualms with my “perks argument,” it really wasn’t an argumennt. Instead it was a mere comment. In my experience I’ve come to believe it is beneficial in America to be fair skinned with fine hair. I thought that was no secret, but I guess some are unaware of it. I think people other than myself on this forum have mentioned perks, or in other words benefits, to being mixed. In the acting world, someone mentioned, lighter skinned women tend to get more opportunities in mainstream media than their darker skinned counterparts. I’m sure that “phenomenae” isn’t exclusive to the entertainment industry.

  38. To Pookie_Sanchez, the name calling was really mature. How does that work out for you at your place of employment? Do you even have a job or are you under 18? If the latter, go study for finals or something.

  39. Not all “mixed women” have straight hair by the way. Nor do they all have more managable hair. Some of them can have kinky hair.

    Corinne Rae Bailey, the British singer, does not have straight hair and neither does Thandie Newton, Lisa Bonet, or that young woman who won the Miss America Pagent a few years back. Karen Parsons wears hair extensions in her hair. I saw a picture of her when she was a teenager. Her hair did not look as she wears it now. And during the final season of the Fresh Prince, she straightened her hair and I’m sure her hair stylist used some sort of hair balm, because no competent stylist would flat iron their client’s hair dry. You’ll damage your hair. Charles Barkely’s college age daughter also has kinky hair. As well as Kobe’s daughters and Heidi Klum’s sons. This just shows your ignorance about genetics.

    I just watched a poetry slam performance on youtube by a young woman, Zora Howard. Her poem is called “Biracial Hair” and speaks on the difficulty she has with maintaining her “naps”–those are her words not mine. Its an interesting poem. Perhaps you should read it as well as take a course in genetics and anthropology.

  40. Why are people putting words in my virtual mouth? I did not say that ALL mixed people had anything. There needs to be more reading and interpreting on this forum before hitting the reply button. Black, I’ve never stated that all mixed people had fine hair, just as I never said that only mixed people can have fine hair. But since we’re on this major aside, the majority of mixed individuals do have curly/wavy/straight hair. However, that has nothing to do with my recent posts. It astounds me how so few black women wear their natural hair. I personally don’t know of any mixed people who regularly wear weaves. But, I can count on one hand the number of black women between the ages of 20 to 35 who wear their hair naturally. If you want to argue that point, argue with the wall… ’cause that’s just reality.

  41. I never said anything in my post about weaves, so I am not going to reply on that issue. And I never said that you said all mixed women have straight hair. What you actually said was:

    “…I know a lot of black women hate to admit it; but, a lot are jealous of mixed women…all the way to the Chinese shop to buy hair to mimic what mixed gals can create naturally with a flat iron (and…. no hair grease might I add)”

    You’re right, you didn’t say “all,” but you didn’t say “some” either. You made a blanket statement and I simply pointed out the flaw in your remark by giving some examples of biracial women who can’t “flat iron their hair without grease.”

    I’m not trying to argue with you or anyone on this forum if you want to know the truth. In fact I don’t plan to comment on this subject after this post, because its getting a bit stale.
    I just think you happen to be a little too stoked on yourself because you claim to have “fine hair.” But if that’s where your self-esteem comes from then so be it. I just don’t understand how you can stomach insulting others especially considering that at least half of your family is black. Yes there might be some African-American women who have a color complex and issues with hair, but most women I know, regardless of race, do something to change the texture of their hair in order to make it more managable. Isn’t that why you flat iron your hair without grease?

    And don’t just accuse Black women of straightening their hair. Many Jewish women have kinky curly hair. I know, I attended a predominantly Jewish high school and some of those girls had downright kinky curls. Natalie Portman said in an article once that she straightened her hair to get the curl out and felt bad because it came off that she was trying to hide her Jewish background when in reality she just wanted more managable hair.

    Many Egyptian women relax their hair–and I’m not talking about black Egyptian women, I’m talking about the Arab population that currently lives in Egypt. I read an article in which the author said that whenever her father went home to Egypt to visit his family, all his female relatives would ask him to bring with him a suitcase full of black hair products and relaxers. One could argue that in both Natalie Portman’s case as well as the Egyptian women above, that they must hate themselves and want to “look more white” because they straighten their hair. But I know many women, regardless of their backgorund, simply want more managable hair. Isn’t that why you flat iron your hair withough grease? Or do you hate your self and simply want to look more like your white ancestors?

    Also, even though I stated above that I would not comment on mixed women who wear weaves, I just thought of Halle Berry. Halle Berry regularly wears hair extensions, so that’s at least one biracial woman who wears weaves even though I don’t believe her natural hair is kinky. Apparently it just doesn’t grow quick enough to give her the length she desires at this time.

    Okay I’m done with this subject.

    Peace!

  42. black please. I’m not talking about celebrities here. Clearly most celebrities alter there appearance to the ninth degree, with gobs of make up, obsessive dieting and exercising and surgery. I’m talking about regular folk. Also your comments hinge largely around women of other races. No one is denying that other races have there issues. But, this is a black forum, discussing black people. Take your issues of Jews to Jewishcelebritykids.com.

    Truthfully, I hope you don’t post again. But I do hope that you and others wake up to the real reason Black women tend to alter their looks on a daily basis. Anytime I can watch Oprah and Tyra and witness black woman who are crying profusely because they’re asked to take off their weaves, there’s a problem. And no, they aren’t the only ones. I know plenty of women whose natural hair I’ve never seen. Everytime they are out their hair is tucked away and they go and get it redone at both convenient and very inconvenient times. Again, don’t redirect the commentary to other races or attempt to isolate this issue to a personal one.

    And as to your comment about me flat ironing my hair. Sweets, I wear my hair curly 95% of the time… a very far cry from refusing to ever walk out of the house natural.

    ’nuff said.

  43. if she didnt really want life to be harder, she should have accepted that she was black, dated black, and married black. shit. nobody cares about her being sad over her weird looking ass children. let this serve as proof to people that all mixed children are not created equal (goodlooking that is)

  44. 1.That is my point, too. Check out my posts above–a lot of biracial people waste too much time on trying to be accepted by the white part of their heritage, IMO and it can cause problems in adjustment. I know this from personal experience as I am of mixed race myself–pre-Civil War and unlike most black people in the US, we know our white ancestors, have artifacts from them, etc. Yet most of my family does not identify with them one whit because the whites in our family rejected us when it really counted. The ones in my family who tried to identify with the white side had a rude awakening when they tried to pass. As recently as 1994, I had a cousin who is very fair(I am the color of Vanessa Williams with long hair that requires no relaxer to be curly)and looks white but with nappy hair and I went to visit him in college and accidently outed him as a black person. I innocently asked to see him at his dorm and called him my cousin in public as I am more identifiably black than he is –he had been masquerading as Jewish and even was going to Synogague with a yarmuleke on his head!). He soon found out how all his so called white friends and white girlfriends truly felt(they assumed he was white)about black people. He later married a fellow black law student and had more identifiably black kids. No more passing for him! If more biracial people would really evaluate just who they are trying to identify with,they would not face such turmoil, etc, IMO.

    2.Also,Not buying it, you are a house negro in mentality because you are castigaing the victims of white racism yet not aknowledging who really caused black women to suffer under a different beauty standard to start with. Black women did not wake up and decide to wear weaves and relaxers in isolation–they are doing it because this nation is so racist that to compete for jobs and even male attention, they have been conditioned to try to look closer to an ideal that has been enforced by the racist white man and his terminology in slavery and in his media ever since that time. “Good hair”, “keen features”,”fair skin”, all this was part of the categories the white man insisted on grading as superior in slavery. The white man even had different names for different types of mixed people: mulatto( half black and half white), quadroon(3/4 white, 1/4 black),octoroon(1/8), etc because how white you were was important to him. The whiter you were, the better you were treated. The house slaves were often light skinned, the yard children were brown(but still related to the master) and the field slaves were darkest of all and treated the worst(my ancestors were the house negros and yard children and some Indians and my ancestors recieved gifts, etc from their white progenitor that we have to this day).

    This system still carries over to the present day. To sit here and mock black women who have grown up under this pernicious belief system that still exists to this day(check out the black female Tv and movie stars, the video girls on Bet, etc–all with the mixed race look) and act like they decided to do this on their own is ludicrous when they are women just trying to survive in a country that does not aknowledge their type of beauty. What you have beeen sayingf is therefore either intellectually dishonest or just ignorant–I am not sure which. The number one reason black women wear weaves and relaxers is that brain washed black MEN are the ones who like that image and consider it beautiful and we are trying to compete! Also, the corporate world does not consider some non-white hairstyles like dreads to be corporate, so some of us are competing in the job market as well. As recently as last year, an editor at Glamour got in trouble by saying that afro style hairstyles are not professional at a seminar for female lawyers and Hampton business school bans such hairdos for the same reason! The black woman is not alone in trying to change herself to succeed in a competitin–the white woman has her own issues with competition as well in the US. The US white woman is pre-occupied with tanning and puffing her lips up and enlarging her breasts and behind. Ask yourself who usually has natural brown skin, full lips and large breasts and hips. It is not Miss Ann! The modern US white woman( the Europeans feel this less and you see less severe plastic surgery there) feels the need to buy those things and mutliate herself and risk skin cancer. Why? because historically the white man has shown a sexual interest in another race female and that is her competiton. Many white stars are lauded for non-white characteristic–Angelina Jolie has full lips and a tawny complexion and even played a mixed race woman in a film successfully and is currently lauded as one of the sexiest of the stars yet I know plenty of fair skinned black /mixed chicks who put her to shame. Yet, Angelina is sexy to most US males because of her exotic looks–looks a regular white woman has to buy to get.

  45. Bravo, Mary D. and Black Is-verry well stated.

  46. Before it was “we do this out of convenience” now its “the white and black men made me do it.” Black women need to stop making excuses and own up to their own issues. Regardless of the culprit(s), black women have issues that are just as far reaching, if not more, than what the mixed person has to grapple with. The supposed mixed individuals on this post who beg to differ do so because they have experienced or witnessed mixed people being shunned by whites. That is not all mixed people’s experiences. I’ve never tried to “pass” as white; yet, I’ve always acknowledged my white as well as black roots. There is a difference. I have never advocated trying to pass. Clearly whoever does that is a fraud because they are denying a part of them.

    I refuse to subscribe to the debilitating victimization that so many blacks clinge to. Black women: regardless of “who started it” (gosh this is really like middle school here) you need to own up to your own set of issues instead of criticizing mixed people.

    I’m a professional who happens to work with a few black women (myself included, there are about 5 of us out of 170). Two of whom have worn braids and afros regularly on the job. So please stop the excuses and look in the mirror at both the problem and the solution.

  47. I just came across this thread sitting in my office in JHB SOUTH AFRICA and fyi egyptions are not the only light skinned, straight haired “tribe” in Africa.Xhosa people in my country often come out looking mixed or closer to white but are definately one thousand percent black

  48. They don’t call Africans, and those whose bloodline can be traced to Africa, black for no reason. 95% of blacks are dark complected with kinky hair, when full-blooded. You might find an exception in one pocket of the world….but really that’s anomolous just like the albino… a freak of nature in some respects. Why is this point even being argued. It’s a given and doesn’t address the important issues that were discussed above.

  49. Well if black women need to get over the “debilitating victimization that so many blacks clinge to” then “mixed persons” like Karen Parsons need to stop whining like tragic mulattos.

    I couldn’t resist. I had to give one more post. 🙂

  50. black go touch up your roots and stop posting…please. Your comments are meritless.

  51. Roots!?! Sweetheart if you could see me and my hair (since that it obviously what you are referring to)you would be sorely disappointed.

    Now look who’s talking like they never passed the 7th grade.

  52. Stop frontin. You know you look like Whoopi Goldberg’s next of kin.

  53. From reading these posts, I see America is soo black and white. I am so glad I was born in the Carribean. Its not so much about light and dark there as it is about features and hair. We do not acribe good hair to light skinned folks or bad hair to dark folks. Its many of the dark people who have the straightest hair. There is Asian (Indian/Chinese), African, and Southern European blood all over the Carribean. So you will have millions of black women with chocolate skin and bone straight (natural) or curly hair, thats grows long without weaves. These women are not necessarily biracial and are majority African descent but have been past mixed like everyone else in the world. Stop the generalizing and travel more.

  54. Whatever! Comfort yourself with that one dear. But it’s nice to know you can see through computer screens. Just because I don’t agree with the obnoxious arguments you’ve made you assume that I look like Whoopi Goldberg? That I’m a “full blooded black”? Ha! What an intelligent comeback. You’re a gem girl. You really got me shaking in my boots!! Grow up and take a class in genetics.

  55. Whoopi get to work.

  56. Honey, hate to break it to you but this issue exists all over the African diaspora (and beyond)…the Carribean included. And yes I’ve travelled to the Carribean and happen to be married to a Carribean man. Yes there is a ton of race mixing there; but, there still are color classes. Not nearly as defined as in other parts of the world (India for example) but present nonetheless.

  57. Wait a minute, aren’t you suppose to be a professional? Shouldn’t you be the one at work. I’m on summer break, what’s your excuse?

  58. With professionalism comes the luxury of coming and going as you please, barring imminent deadlines. If you’re lucky to become one when you grow up you’ll come to realize this.

  59. Whatever!

  60. Just admit it, you’ve been laid off from your job as a $10 an hour paralegal and have nothing better to do. Waiting for hubby are you???

  61. If you only knew sweetheart. Maybe if you study long enough you’ll end up where I am. Although I doubt it, judging from your previous remarks and undying ignorance.

  62. You just can’t let go can you. Let me help you out, old lady. I have a dinner date with friends,so you can busy yourself by arguing by yourself. Maybe if you and hubby hadn’t spent your entire tax refund on your outstanding cable bills you could go out to dinner too. Instead you sit before your computer waiting for life to happen. How sad 😦

    Adios!

  63. If you say so Whoop.

  64. Whoopie you there?

  65. Whoopie!?!?!

  66. Not Buying It,

    You have serious issues. You seem really preoccupied with race and especially this biracial thing.

    The fact is that Karyn Pearsons has a problem being biracial because she wants to be a part of a racial group that doesn’t accept her because she is black.

    Again, one can have a white mother or father and still be black without offending them.
    Halle Berry has no problems, nor does Alicia Keys, Boris Kudjoe, Nicole Ari Parker, Thandie newton,Cash Warren, etc.. etc..

    You have a problem only if you make it one. Ms. Pearsons and her kids will fit into the the black sommunity. Quite frankly her daughter looks like a regular black child with an albino coloring. And her son looks like a light skin child. Once she teaches those kids who they are, whenever they get rejections from their white side, they would not hate their black side for it, but rather brush it off and move on.

  67. Not buying it,

    You are definitely an angry person. What makes you think Whoopi Goldberg is “full black”?
    You make these generalizations that are completely false.

    I know people that are very dark with kinky hair that have a white parent and I also know people that have straight and thinly curled hair that are not mixed and are fully black.

    You sound IGNORANT and please don’t try to convince me that you have more than a G.E.D. diploma. You sound like you have been living under a soiled ROCK for years.

    As for your comments about blacks bleaching their skin etc. Yes some uninformed ones have done so in the past and very few are now. Slowly black people are understanding the psychology used against them.
    When I die, I wouldn’t want to come back as anything else. I love my skin and if I could make it darker, I would. Our hair and skin protect us from the sun.

    I understand that to say you are black, especially when you can pass as “something else”, is hard. To be black is to carry a lot of luggage, 500 hundred years worth of it. But being biracial is being black and unless one can understand that, he/she will always have identity issues. You will never fit into whiteness no matter what you call yourself.

  68. Cranberry, silence! Your comments are stale and redundent and really have no basis in the truth. I won’t dissect them because I’ve already done that after your first couple of posts, where you said the same thing. Create new arguments and perhaps you’d get as much attention as Whoopi received.

  69. And I’m really mad you said “to be black is to carry a lot of luggage.” lol I think you meant baggage sweetie.

  70. Still haven’t found a real job Not Buying It. How sad. I’m on my way to Cabo with family and friends. Have fun lurking the internet.

  71. There you go Whoopie. I knew you’d return sooner or later. I hope you didn’t just get your “hair did.” ‘Cause you know a sistah don’t play.

    As for Mexico…been there and done that. The time to go is when it’s actually cold in the states, not in the dead of summer when the prices are much cheaper. I knew you were a broke jawn.

  72. Why the criticism on Whoopi Goldberg? This condensending attitude alone is a prime example of the self-hatred that has permeated through the black community with the light vs dark slave mentality, and yes, also those of mixed race are effected as evidence by the post. Referencing the poster as Whoopi Goldberg is an obvious effort to insinuate that person is of darker skin with african features, and in your mind less desirable, suffice to say it also exposes your own inner battle with the African-ness that may or may not run through your veins. Before you can be critical of black women and accuse them of lacking self love, hopefully you will look into the mirror and learn to revere all of who you are and EVERY contribution required in order for you to be! YES that includes the black part…

  73. Hey, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! Why must you and Whoopie be so negative?!?!

  74. Lynn: you might want to edit before you post next time so your sentences are coherent. Just a suggestion.

  75. I am sorry–I hate to go negative but Not buyin it–you have earned this with the Whoop comments: You are a latter day house nigger in mentality. I cannot believe this “if you are light you are right”, etc is still believed–you sound like something out of the 1950’s. Next, you will be talking about the paper bag test! Your posts are VERY ignorant and show over-identification with the white oppressor as you obviously think that lighter blacks are superior to other blacks, which is why you think calling someone Whoopi Goldberg is an insult. Let me tell you, there are worse things to be called than Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi has made peace with an afrocentric image so she accepts herself unlike a lot of brainwashed black people like yourself, she is talented and has won awards on Broadway and is one of the few black actors to ever win an Oscar! She is currently on the View and is paid a huge salary to be on network TV. In short, her dark skinned dreadlocked self could buy and sell YOU like the cheap “waste of yellow” that you certainly are, Not buyin it! And you have the nerve to tell other posters like Black to get off this board! You are the one who needs to leave, you pathetic colorstruck sell out!

  76. Not buying into it, I my time was limited at the time I posted, however, I’m certain that you understood the message, otherwise you wouldn’t have foolished reduced yourself to only attack the sentence structure. LOL, you don’t have to read it…Yawn

  77. lol, excuse the typos again, however, I know you got the message, learn from it!

  78. Whiteness is simply a mutation that derived from blackness. Without one, there couldn’t be the other.

  79. wow her daughter does look albino.

  80. Karyn Parson’s daughter is fair, but she has noticeable african traits. I think Miss Parson has a lovely looking family, and I hope she raises her children to appreciate every aspect of their being!

  81. Notice that Not buying it has not re-appeared since she was told off. good riddance to bad rubbish!

  82. I read the whole post and I cant believe the shit Not Buying It was saying…what the hell is she talking about? there is absolutely no colour class in the Caribbean I would know as I am Grenadian and have been all over the islands in places like Guyana and Trinidad there is a division between some East Indians and Africans but there is no colour class!! There are alot of beautiful unique looking Caribbean women…is she just jealous that there are alot of sexy chocolate skinned women over there with nice hair?? Not Buying It please get over yourself ‘LIGHT IS NOT RIGHT!!!’

  83. TO black is black..stupid.:

    Hispanic itself is not a race. You can be a white hispanic, black hispanic or indian hispanic, whatever. Hispanic is merely a culture. THe fact that yur father is hispanic does not tell me anything.
    Saying you are biracial because your father is hispanic is contradictory as hispanic is not a race. You have to be specific. Is your father black, white, indian, etc. Hispanic is not his race just his culture….

    If you said your mother is African American and your father is a White Hispanic, then that makes more sense. Just saying he is hisapanic means nothing. ANyone of any race can be hispanic

  84. Her daughter has strong African features, she looks albino rather than mixed, i agree.

  85. I also agree that her daughter doesn’t look white or biracial she looks more albino with very strong black features!!!

    And sorry I will always see biracial black/white people as black but don’t get it wrong they should never denounce their white side however they are black with white family members thats all, I mean look @ Obama he has a white mother and was raised by her and his white grandparents yet he is still smart enough to know he is BLACK in fact he stated he was too black lol but seriously all african american ppl are mixed and that is why biracial ppl blend right in with us they look just like us they don’t look white therefore they are and always will be BLACK!!!

  86. “Obama lover” – get over it! Biracial is biracial NOT black.
    Jesus, Americans are so goddamn stupid. Why should mixed/biracial people lie about who they are? I don’t give a rat’s ass WHAT white or black Americans say about mixed people being seen as BLack. That’s a stupid social concept American idiots made. Funny how NON-AMERICANS don’t beieve in that bullshit. FUNNY.

    And by the way, Obama is BIRACIAL not black. No one can be black with a white mother. She raised him, not his deadbeat black father.
    Black people in America need to grow up.

    Mixed people are exactly that – MIXED. DEAL WITH IT!!

  87. It’s reassuring to find another sane and intelligent mind on this thread. Thanks Shana:)

  88. Hi all. I consider myself to have two “Black” parents, even though they both have white ancestory (they “look black” though). My question to the mixed race folks on the blog is: when do u believe people just become “black” or “white” again? I mean most African Americans,including myself,could claim “mixed”, but it seems most mixed people don’t c it that way. I’d love to hear a genuine answer to this question (not sarcastic), because my bf is mixed (very white looking from white grandparents on each side) n he claims African American. He does respect his Portuguese heritage, but realizes he is AA to the world n has no problem with it. I have no idea what our kids will look like, but I plan on raising them as black/AA, but informing them of their diverse history.
    To me, black is black.(Especially in the US). What is the point of a separate category for mixed race? What category will u put ur kids in? What about the grandkids n so on? Is it not just easier to pick one or the other?
    PS. Karyn’s kids are adorable, but it is funny how many mixed race folks “play black” on tv, but get upset when called black or are assumed to be black in real life! Hello!

  89. Smh @ a lot of the comments here…

  90. i’m mixed race and black jamaican/german, but identify more with black people than white people and don’t care if people call me/see me as black, latino or mixed race. I think people should be able to identify how they want. why you may i ask do i identify more as black, because i feel that a white person can never relate to what its like to be a person of colour, but another black person can. I grew up from a young age feeling loyal towards black people despite growing up mainly around white people.
    As for karyn parsons she should stop feeling sorry for herself, i’m tired of mixed race people complaining as if they experience more racism because they get it from both sides of their genes. any ethnic minority can experience racism. I have personally experienced abit of racism, but never from black people. Generally i don’t feel victamised because i am mixed race.

    I think that once genes start getting to 1/4 black or less people need to stop using the one drop rule. newsflash it does not exist.not many black people try to claim heather locklear or wentorth miller as black, but they are part black. i see Karyn Parson’s children as mixed race, but would not think it absurd if her son wants to identify as black and the daughter as white just let them be.

  91. Guyz lets top hating………..Thanks Cranberry, 20something, Black is Black, and certain others……….U’ve got it totally true!!.

    But we need to stop this 4r real………no fighting within our Black family!

  92. What I notice about people is how they treat others & myself. If you are a good person, citizen, etc., then it shouldn’t matter what color your skin is. How people are treated by one another is what should count.

    (I know this is very simplistic but this world would be such a better place to live in if it were that way.)

  93. I need help!! I am white and I have a biracial daughter. I have raised my daughter to be an individual and to be proud of who she is for those reasons. I have a diverse group of friends. However, my family and my husband are white. She has no contact with her biological father. We are in a military community which encourages diversity and mixed families.
    My problem is lately, despite my best efforts of cultural exposure, she has chosen to identify as just white. I am finding that she speaks of black issues or kids as something seperate from herself. Even worse, I am finding that she completely ignores elderly black women when they come up to her and tell her how beautiful she is.
    This growing rejection of her culture upsets and confuses me. Could her actions be defiance to the cultural education I try to provide her with? Does she feel because she is biracial that she does not fit in our family so she has to choose to be white? Is she tired of people constantly pointing out “She is beautiful, WHAT IS SHE?” question? She is beautiful not only because of her appearence but because of her heart. I want my child to be confident, secure and happy. How do I help her become that type of woman?

  94. Concerned Mom I think your child rejection of her black half has everything to do with the fact that her black dad abandoned her. She is I am certain very insecure and uncertain of where she fits into her life, because if her own black dad wants nothing to do with her something must be wrong with her.

    You have to let her know that her dad left because he was selfish and it is his loss that he is missing out on watching his beautiful grow into a beautiful young woman. Does she see his family? How old is she? She is embracing her white family because they have embraced her, she is rejecting her black family because she feels rejected by them.

  95. I say talk to her dad’s family and let them know your concerns, from their reaction you would know if getting her more involved with them would be better or worse for her. Once you do this then you will have a better idea of what your next step should be. What is her dad’s history? Was he abandoned by his dad? Maybe it’s a pattern. Whatever you know about why he is not more involved with her the more you can make her understand him leaving is not about her, but him.

  96. Unfortunately, I have lost contact with his family. When my daughter was four he threatened to take her. Since then, legally there can be no contact anyways. He has no legal rights whatsoever. She is six now. It’s a tough situation.

  97. I am so sorry, I guess with the situation that you stated above they only thing can really do is tell her it’s not that her dad doesn’t want to be with her, he just wasn’t in a good place to be able to take care of her so he signed his rights over because he thought (whatever your husband’s name is) would be able to take better care of you and her. He wanted to do the best thing for her because he loved her.

    Don’t say anything negative about her dad to or around her. If you want her to see her black side in a positive light that’s the only way you will be able to get your child to be able to accept all of her. She is still young so don’t make a big issue out of her color. Just make sure that she is around people that accept with open arms. She will be okay. You care enough to seek help for your baby and that alone tells me she is loved. Is she you only child?

  98. Yea she is! I am pregnant though and she is already proving to be an amazing big sister. Thanks for your advice. I really needed to get a different perspective.

  99. I am terribly confused by this article. She says her son is ‘browner’ than she is, yet that is not true. Her daughter ‘looks’ like an African American albino actually. I agree with many of the statements made on here. If Karyn would stop trying to force acceptance, and simply accept herself and her children for their black heritage as well, then things may be better for her. She seems overly concerned with her white heritage. If she truly identifies as mixed, then she has to embrace both sides equally, though I understand that may be challenging at times. She seems to have some identity issues that are self imposed.

  100. I’ll have to totally co-sign with oceanwave. 1. The girl looks albino. 2. Karen didn’t have any trouble identifying with Black folks when she the played the daughter of an Black mother & father on an all Black sitcom. She would have never made the cast of the daughter/sister on shows like Family Ties, Growing Pains,Home Improvement etc. Why? Because when I as well as everybody else in America see as Black. She had to tell me in this article because she looks like just another Black chick to me.I sure it’s not easy for a biracal person to have to choose sides when they love both parents , but she seems to want Black people to identify her with her white side. Um, okay but that won’t be real easy being that she looks so much like us. She needs to ge over herself. That’s why she hasn’t had a role since Fresh Prince. She’s annoying

  101. her daughter is not albino her daughter is white . she is half white and the child father is white that one drop of black blood makes you black is bull s*** crop. you are what you look like she looks white she is white . and whats up with white color anyway all color looks quite good to me . and when you are too white you don’t look right.

  102. stop hating you people the child is not albino she just look white and she have ever right to be her dad is white . she is white you are what you look like . That one drop of black blood make you black is crop . we are all coming from one man and one woman Adam and Eve.

  103. Her kids are white move on

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  107. Americans need to stop thinking that biracials are viewed as blacks by the entire world. WRONG!

    I live in Africa, born and raised there, and black people here will never consider you to be nothing more and nothing less than a mulatto. In South Africa, mixed race people even have their own communities and biracials are rarely accepted as blacks by the Africans. It just does not happen here because people have the good sense to know that you are not black when you have a portion the White Man’s blood flowing through your veins.

    AAs don’t realize that the One Drop Rule just further dilutes the black race in America. When whites had mixed offspring, they needed to dump them into one category and be rid of them, didn’t they? That’s how the One Drop Rule applies, and advocating it is like agreeing that the white race should remain untainted whilst the black race can continue being watered down with genes from other races.

    Biracials are biracials, let’s leave it at that. Genetics do not lie, do they? 50% of their being originated from a white man’s sperm cell or a white woman’s egg, so I see no point in restlessly arguing that they are black when they are clearly not.

  108. I am a black women but am mixed with Irish,Indian,French,Hispanic, Oriental. I am considered Creole. I had my two youngest by my ex boyfriend who is a very handsome German Irish tall white guy. My two kids came out with blonde hair and blue eyes, my doctor said he couldn’t believe I did it twice . Seeing they are 7 years Apart. I love them more than life and wouldn’t change. A thing. 🙂

    Thanx for your story Hilary Banks Lol!!!

  109. Wow!! I have two Biracial children , there neither confused stupid white black what have u. U fuckin stupid ass black woman on here need to get over the Blk shit forealz. My two daughters look white , but they are Blk as well bcuz of me. Black men will turn to a white woman any chance they get. So why ru guys sooooo stuck on this race shit ! It’s Annoying as hell and so very irrelevant. Yes as minorities we go through things everyday but our ancestors went through a hell of alot more than we. Don’t forget they also daughter for freedom of rights, which tells me if I want to have a preference of who I lay down with nd have kids by I can. My children r beautiful and whenever a problem arises at school, sporting events or wherever I always have there back and they understand the race card game. Between blks nd whites. I raise them to love themselves nd be proud of who they r. U know what makes it hard on kids nd people that r mixed people such as u carrying the IGNORANCE IN UR HEART 4to many years. Get over it, we have to many other problems in this world than to sit nd waste time did buying who is white Blk mixed or whatever! Any who we are all mixed unless ur n AFRICAN straight from Africa. PS worry about whether ur going to Heaven when u die. I doubt it with the hatred ur carrying. Oh nd no that lol girl aint albino @ whoever said that early post she just looks white cuz her Dads genes took over stop being so RUDE! My kids have blonde hair blue eyes and I wouldn’t take it back got nothing in he world. Talk about them in my face nd ill KICK UR ASS!!!!

    Bye

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